Hard Coded

Today I read the smartest thing anyone has ever said about software engineering, ever.

And I paraphrase: Ready? Here I go:

“[The] ‘use case’ should be, ‘how will this software get [the user] laid?'”

Brillant. In the good way. Yep, that’s the spot right there.

Frankly, it makes perfect sense. If you think about it, what piece of software do we use such that we aren’t trying to get laid?

Word? Nah, and do be wary of those paper cuts from your printed erotica.

Firefox? Pssh. Open your bookmarks and try to tell me something naughty isn’t in there whilst looking me in the blog.

iTunes? Riight. We all know you like big butts and you cannot lie.

In the same engorged vein, I draw your attention to Futurama:

“All civilization was just an effort to impress the opposite sex. And sometimes the same sex.”

As a society, we’ve known for years about this phenomenon. It used to be called, “sex sells.” And I’m a firm (giggity) believer that it’s one axiom that will never change. The humor we laugh at most? Sexy jokes. TV shows most watched? Sexy TV shows. Parties most attended? Sexy parties.

Focusing on a goal in this fashion inspires us to think how people use software, and how they use it to achieve their goals. Instead of focusing on how clever we are as programmers in meeting the requirements documents, we can think in terms of a user: “how would I use this software to get laid?”

I’d bet it’s not too different from anyone else.

Also, you might want to disinfect that mouse…